Setting Up a Peace Table

A Peace Table is a Montessori inspired space that provides children with a quiet spot to sit, reflect, and regain composure when they are feeling overwhelmed. I shared back in February that we started using "quiet spots" when the children needed some extra space. After about a month of use, it was clear that our quiet spots weren't working for us quite like I wanted them to. Because they were down on the floor, they didn't provide the kids with any sort of privacy when they wanted to be by themselves. Instead, the rest of the children were curious and crowded around the quiet spot, having the opposite effect.  When I saw the idea for a "Peace Table", I knew we had to give it a try!

 So far it has worked wonders for us. I highly encourage you to consider setting up a peace table in your home or classroom!

All You Need:

- a child size table,
 -1-2 child sized chairs
- something soothing to look at or do.

 The number of chairs depends on how you want the table to be used. Sometimes Peace Tables can be used for conflict resolution where one child can invite another child to the peace table in order to peacefully resolve an problem. For our purposes, I chose to only include one chair because my main goal for this space, right now, is to provide a retreat away from others. With very young children, an open chair suggests an open invitation and I think they would have a hard time understanding that they are only allowed to join someone at the table unless asked. If you are interested in using your peace table for conflict resolution I Heart Montessori has a great post on how to get that started!

As far as your soothing activity or object, it can really be anything. Think of  your child, and what best soothes them. Right now, we have our Buddha Board set out on the table for a quiet and soothing activity. Other ideas might be a sand timer, a feather, worry beads, some soft fabric, some soothing scent jars, maybe even a head set and some music so they can shut out the noise. The options are endless and you can incorporate as may or as few as you like. I plan to change our activity out every so often to keep it fresh and inviting.

Where Should it Go:

- away from the action

- beautiful and inviting

Since the purpose of the peace table is for the child to take a break from the action, you obviously want to set up the table in a place where that is possible. Putting the table in a high traffic area would make it difficult for a child to seek the quiet they need. Another thing to consider when deciding where to set up your table is to make sure the space is visually appealing. A well lit area facing a window would be ideal so the child can be soothed by the natural light and sights of nature. If that is not possible, you can always add photographs, potted plants, and other beautiful objects on or around the table to create an attractive and calming environment. With a little thought, it is possible to arrange a great peace table that any child is sure to love and enjoy!

Little Touch Leap Pad Saved My Life

I never though I would be raving about an electronic child's toy but it's true, the Little Touch Leap Pad has saved my life! You see, E has this problem with riding in the car. She HATES it! She does fine if there is someone else back there to keep her company but most of the time she is back there alone and reverts to high pitched screaming and whining after just 3 minutes in the car(sometimes less). Whining is my motherhood kryptonite. It just cuts through my patients like a knife through butter and it especially rattles my nerves when I am driving and can't do anything about it. I have tried many creative solutions such as offering her books, toys, snacks, singing songs, talking, none of which changed her mind about hating rides in the car.

I'd had enough and was about to break down and do one of two things, neither of which I wanted to do. 1) turn her car seat around to front facing and hope that she would feel a little less isolated back there or 2) resort to buying a portable DVD player for the backseat. I am determined to keep E rear facing as long as possible for safety reasons so 1 was clearly not a good choice and while I have come to terms with E having limited screen time, watching a DVD EVERY time we are in the car seemed to be a bit excessive.

And then I found my dream come true at a local consignment shop - the Little Touch Leap Pad. It's not a toy I would typically buy for E but it is the perfect solution for keeping her happy in the car. It is simple enough for her to operate on her own and interactive so I feel mildly less guilty about keeping my child entertained with an electronic device. The voices are slightly annoying but much less so than whining and there is a volume button that works wonders! Now E is excited to get in the car,asking for her pad as soon as I buckle her in, and I am able to concentrate on driving us safely around town.

Toddlerhood

I believe we have officially crossed the threshold of toddlerhood this weekend. The transformation seemed to have occurred over night as though I tucked my baby into bed on Saturday and awoke the next morning to find a vivacious little tot in her place. I can hardly keep up with all of the new and exciting things she is suddenly capable of. For starters, her vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. Not only is she learning dozens of new words, but she is beginning to pronounce the words she already knows with greater accuracy. Some of her latest words are Hi, I See You, Cracker, Sticker, Shhh, Diaper, Eye, Belly Button, Back ( as in "put it back"), Guh Guh (Grandma), Shoes, Night Night, Hat, Bottle, More, Yee Haw, Boat, Choo Choo, and Down. Oh, and we must not forget our all time favorite word, NO! From my rough count I have figured she has about a 40 word vocabulary so far!

She is  also very interested in her books at the moment and has started "reading" them to herself. She knows certain words on certain pages and says them as she flips through the book. It is absolutely adorable to see her sitting in her reading corner with her little nose in a book. It is great that she loves reading so much. Maybe it will counterbalance her other obsession, watching Elmo videos. I'm afraid I must take the blame on this one. I had every intention of following a strict no-TV-until-at-least-the-age-of-two policy when she was born. We were doing great without TV until I had the brilliant idea of showing her a couple of Sesame Street clips online one day. Of course she was instantly hooked and we haven't stopped hearing about "Melmo" (Elmo) since. Up until this past week we have had a pretty easy time distracting her with other activities to limit her screen time to 10-15 minutes a couple days a week. Our recent plunge into toddlerhood however has really shown it's face with her new-found persistence. This kid knows what she wants to do when she wants to do it and God forbid you tell her no. All day long we we battled tantrums over videos. I have come to terms with allowing her a limited amount of screen time but this is getting out of control. Daddy and I are trying to figure out how to implement some rules that she will understand. All I know is that I want to nip this in the bud before it really becomes a problem.

Speaking of problems, E has discovered her excellent climbing abilities this weekend as well. In addition to the coffee table, the dining room chairs, and TV stand, this little monkey figured out how to climb onto the counter tops today.  E climbed up on her Learning Tower this morning while I was doing the dishes and was attempting to blow out a candle that was well out of reach on the counter. I turned around to see her with her little foot hiked up on the counter ready to pull herself all the way up. I wanted to see if she could actually get up so I stood back and watched her successfully shimmy her way all the way onto the counter. No more candles on the counter and it looks like we will be finding a new place to put the Learning Tower when not in use.

She is growing and changing way too fast. Where did my little baby go?

Houston We Have a Biter

E bit T on the hand today. I have caught her attempting to do it several times before so I knew it was just a matter of time before it would happen when I wasn't there to interfere. The two of them were playing together in the cupboards while I was cleaning up from lunch when I head a blood curdling scream that took me straight back to my days at the daycare. I knew exactly what had happened before I even turned around. I ran over and sure enough there was a nice imprint of E's teeth right in his hand.

Toddler biting is an interesting subject. While it obviously isn't an acceptable behavior, it is a developmentally appropriate way for them to deal with frustration.  I have heard parents blame biting on teething, testing the limits, and various other things but from my experience the child who bites is one that is feeling frustrated and doesn't know how else to respond. Most often biting is a defensive behavior. Rarely does a toddler out of the blue walk up and bite someone. It is usually the response of feeling attacked. Working at the daycare it always surprised me how upset parents would get when their child was involved in a biting incident. Parents of the biters were appalled that their child would do such a horrendous thing and parents of the bitee were of course upset that their child was the victim. I understand both feelings but it is our job as parent's and caregivers to teach them better ways to cope with their frustrations and the best way to do that is to be understanding and sympathetic to both the biter and bitee's feelings. During our biting incident today I held the screaming T and carried him to E where I calmly explained that she hurt him very bad. I showed her the marks on his fingers so she could see that she gave him owies. She clearly understood and began to cry herself. I sat on the floor consoling T and soon E came over handing him the plate that they were apparently fighting over. She sat down in my lap along with T and began rubbing his head. In nonverbal toddler fashion she was clearly saying sorry and I believe she genuinely felt bad about hurting her friend. While biting and other aggressive behaviors are not fun to deal with, we can use them to build character and teach compassion if we just take the time to understand and relate to our little ones.

What are your opinions on the matter? Do you have any tips for helping toddlers express their frustrations in non aggressive ways?

Daddy Love

E has developed quite an attachment to Daddy this past week. I've dreamed of them having a close relationship from the day she was born but this sudden shift has taken me some getting used to. While it melts my heart to see her eyes light up when Lee enters the room, I hear a faint voice in the back of my head asking "what I have done wrong?", as she wriggles from my clutches and searches the house yelling "DaDaDaDaDa"!

I know the answer to that question is "nothing". The reason she loves and needs her daddy is not because I have failed her in anyway, but because she is finally able to appreciate what Daddy has to offer. Sure Mom is nurturing, and patient (most of the time), and kind, but she needs Dad to toss her in the air and bounce her on the bed. She needs the excitement that Daddy brings when he scoops her up into his arms and runs all over the house. She needs to know that he loves and adores her for all that she is and of that I am quite certain he has more than accomplished!

So although it hasn't been easy learning to share E's attention, I just tell the voice in the back of my head to "SHUT UP" and enjoy standing back and watching the two of them build the foundation of a relationship that will last a lifetime!